I miss you, my childhood home!

There’s levels to this S**t
October 10, 2015
I Love you Melanie! Happy first birthday!
December 1, 2015

I remember moving into my house in early 2000, February to be exact and man, did losing my childhood home hurt? Yes! We just lost my house to foreclosure and it was probably one of the hardest things I still battle today. I remember when I left my house on June 3rd, to start my life in Denver, Colorado. The things you think about are fascinating when placed in that position that these will be the last moments you get to see your childhood home. Everything I did that morning, I thought about. Every step I took I kept thinking, “this is the last step like this I’ll take in this house.” I remember in the shower I was crying so hard thinking that that would be the last shower, and when I was done and opened the curtain to grab my towel and I stepped out, I was like, “This is the last time I’ll be getting out of this shower. . . Forever.”
I’ve often wondered if when I grow up and I’m successful if I should buy the house. I want to have something for a long time. I want to be able to claim something for a long time and my childhood home was it. Here’s a list of things I miss, in no particular order.

  • The sound of my studio
  • My parties (Whether birthdays or family get-togethers)
  • Smoking hookah in the yard
  • Blasting music
  • Yelling at all hours of the night and not hearing anything about it
  • Watching football games with my best friend Ryan
  • Walking to my blocks corner store since they’ve known me since I was six
  • Swimming in various inflatable swimming pools
  • Running around in the sprinklers
  • Summer grilling
  • Stories like the time my step dad had to Chace someone who stole from my basement
  • The great smelling mornings when my mom would make a delicious breakfast (And she would go all in… Just sayin’).
  • The great dinners ranging from spaghetti and meatballs, Parmesan-crusted chicken, my favorite, her mashed potatoes, too empanadas, rice and beans and her various famous varieties of chicken.
  • Food delivering stories
  • The loud, drunkin nights I had with all my boys
  • And so many more I don’t have time to write down.

Did I want to leave Paterson, of course, but I wanted to take my house and the memories along with me. My wishful-thinking states I wish I was able to put my house on wheels. However, in Paterson I think I might get shot for that. After all that, I leave you with this. It was an official good-bye to my house I posted on Facebook the night before I left my house forever.

403 Crosby Avenue, a yellow/beige house up on the hill, a house where I was molded. Purchased in December of 1999, and our move in on February of 2000, this house contains 15 years of memories that I’m attached too. This house was my childhood, my place where I’ve experienced so much for the first time. I’ve had all my girlfriends in this house, I discovered myself as a grown man, and have done everything belonging to my interested fields and career. I’ve recorded some of my best music, I’ve had some of my best drunken moments here, have spent hours upon hours with all friends from around the country, had birthday get-togethers, fully catered parties, crazy house frights like a carbon monoxide scare, heard real-life gunshots, played video games, watched certain shows that I remember, and did my successful radio show The Dan show live (some of the funnest moments in my life). Since I’m moving to Colorado tomorrow, tonight will be the last night I sleep in this house, and it’s emotionally messing with me. After today, I will hold nothing but memories of what my house, my place, my home, my rooms; my life was here in the north side of Paterson. Thank you for being so good to me. And thank you to my mother Kathy Gerena who sacrificed everything to have this house for my brother and I, who did whatever she could do to make sure we had a place to grow up to recount stories later. You’re a hero mom. Thank you for allowing me to experience 15 years that will always be stamped in my mind forever. My brother, my mom and I are 403 Crosby Avenue.